Eden Lang | Blog

2012-01-23T08:44:00.000-08:00

Mark and Isaac Litchfield.

My heart swells with pride as I watch my brothers reach beautiful milestones in their lives. I love to just be with my brothers. To stand next to them and know that I belong. I hope they know how much I love and adore them. Three strong, lovely men. Merin and I are both so lucky to have their support and warmth. Mark and Tiffany, Isaac is so, so, soooo- perfect:) I am so happy for the two of you! And he is one lucky little guy to be blessed with an older brother with such a gentle and sweet personality.
Sending all my love to the Mark Litchfield family.

xoxo
Eden (your very proud big sister).

Contax 645

2012-01-17T15:43:00.000-08:00

Lots of love,
Eden.

Contax 645

2012-01-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

More on Britt and Jeff's wedding soon:)

Contax 645

2012-01-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

...you are everything to me.

Contax 645

2012-01-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Kayden is my sweet little nephew- my little brother's baby and they've just had baby number two a little over a weeks ago. I am excited to share pictures of Mark and Tiffany's littlest one. If you only knew the sweet personalities that goes with these darling little faces you would understand why we are all so nuts about the Mark Litchfield Family:)
xoxo

Contax 645

2012-01-02T21:22:00.000-08:00

Sister love.

Contax 645

2011-12-19T13:32:00.000-08:00

In my Mom's sewing room there is a perfect corner. A spot where us kids and the Grandkids like to sit quietly and watch my mom work. The little ones often play on their own or read books or simply just sit and listen as my Mom and I talk. She has sewn many beautiful pieces for her five kids and now the grandkids. My wedding dress along with Merin and Hannah's. Many dance costumes for Merin including tutu's.
Its always a comforting room for me. Recently my mom has been working on some really sweet things for Ysa, and Aubrie was sitting in the corner. It was quiet and the sun was warming the rooms so softly. These images mean so much to me in my moms space where we share so many memories, then with Merin's tutu and a basket of her point shoes and my sweet little girls:)
Mom, thank you so much for every bit of your talent that you so willingly share.

Love,
Eden.

Contax 645

2011-12-16T12:53:00.000-08:00

Jordon Hone

This shoot was really so fun...and can I just say how much I love grain and movement in black and white film. I know its not for everyone but it makes me smile.
xoxo
Eden.

Kodak TX 400
Fuji 400H

2011-12-12T18:02:00.000-08:00

There are so many beautiful moments that happen in our homes. It's sad how they can slip by so quickly.

With love,
Eden.

Fuji 400h

2011-12-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

"Kinfolk is a growing community of artists with a shared interest in small gatherings. We recognize that there is something about a table shared by friends, not just a wedding or once-a-year holiday extravaganza, that anchors our relationships and energizes us. We have come together to create Kinfolk as our collaborative way of advocating the natural approach to entertaining that we love.
Every element of Kinfolk—the features, photography, and general aesthetics—are consistent with the way we feel entertaining should be: simple, uncomplicated, and less contrived. Kinfolk is the marriage of our appreciation for art and design and our love for spending time with family and friends."
-Kinfolk Manifesto

I am so excited to be a part of the new issue of Kinfolk Magazine. It was such a pleasure working with them. I can't wait to have a copy in my hands and cozy down with this beautiful magazine. You can have it in print or down load it for your ipad!

xoxo
Eden.

kinfolkmag.com

2011-12-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what it is about this image, but I love the way it makes me feel. Wind blown and light leaked, and a sense of belonging:)

Kodak Portra 400

2011-12-03T19:10:00.000-08:00

The beautiful thing about family is that no matter where they are you know that you are loved.

Kodak TX 400
5d

2011-12-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

Somethings are worth the wait:)
Lots of love,
Eden.

Fuji 400H

2011-11-29T18:59:00.000-08:00

Oh- my goodness I love this face. I love it in every season, every mood, every single day. I adore those dark brown eyes. Whether they are happy-sad or angry. I just simply adore you my little angel. So if you find a dark cloud hanging over you today I will wait it out with you.

xoxo
your ever adoring Mom.

Kodak TX 400

2011-11-28T13:16:00.000-08:00

Mikey, I couldn't help but think of how you would have LOVED this shoot. With love,
Eden.

Fuji 400h

2011-11-22T08:47:00.000-08:00

Adam and Amanda

Love you both,
xoxo
Eden.

Fuji 400H
Kodak TX 400

2011-11-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

Cousins

There is something so perfect about a walk in the Fall. Thanksgiving day we got together with family and caught the last few grasshoppers of the season. We tried to ignore our cold noses and wind kissed cheeks...and the resistance to wearing a jacket and giving up summers shorts gets harder. Really Fall always brings a beautiful anticipation for the first snow fall. Our day together was a lovely one. The memory that follows these pictures makes me smile. I love that the kids are lucky enough to have cousins to grow up with. To be surrounded by such loving family.
xoxo
Eden.

Kodak Portra 400
Fuji Pro 400h

2011-11-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

There really can never be a dull moment with three busy boys:)
Love,
Eden.

Fuji film.

2011-11-09T12:36:00.000-08:00

Girlfriends

...are such a sweet gift in this life.

xoxo
Eden.

Color - Fuji / Black and White - Kodak

2011-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

Flora, you know how much I love your family! Thank you so much for having me again. I always have such a good time working with all of you...and to see your family grow is so so fun:)
Lots of love,
Eden.

2011-11-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

There really is nothing more beautiful or exciting than a sweet new baby in your arms. I am so happy for both of you.
xoxo
Eden.

Fuji & Kodak films.

2011-10-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

To my dear little monsters, I love you so much.

(My Mom made the Owl costume and its honestly amazing. She is really so much more talented than I can express. Thanks so much!!! Aubrie and I both adore it. This year Deacon thought of and put together his own explorer costume, and Merin had the Lady Bug outfit saved for Ysa. The first time Ysa tried it on I couldn't get it off her. Of course when I pull out the camera she wants NOTHING to do with it! lol. But really its so sweet to see her waddle around in it. I'll have to try to get some pictures of her again a little later on.)

Jane and Theo/Red and wolfie:

Happy Halloween my loves!

2011-10-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

After Japan we lived down the street from the Meiklejohn's in Vancouver. A talented architect couple and their two boys. Now, this makes me feel old, however, I babysat these boys a time or two-when we were all younger. Ew. I feel old! But it was so lovely to see this family again after so many years. We shot at their beach house which was an absolute retreat. Thanks again for having me, I hope to see you again soon,
xo
Eden.

2011-10-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Tracy and Kale
a lovely mother and son shoot...

oh- it was so nice to see you both again! I really don't even know where to start...it was just honestly such a fun night. And that back seat full of beautiful clothes was just the cherry on top:) The last time I saw your little man he was a little boy! But now he is 11. 11! How does that even happen? You are both so lovely together.
Lots and lots of love,
Eden.

All shot on film

2011-10-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

Why is it that tears sometimes burn. When our soul hurts, why does our throat close up. When we have lost someone we love, why does it feel good to hurt for the loss of them. Its the reminder of how much they were loved.

I miss you Merin.

Love,
Eden.

2011-10-12T20:22:00.000-07:00

Letting go of summer.

Fuji 400h

Holga|Summer

-As we start to dress a little warmer with fall here, my heart drops just a beat or two as I think of how I am going to miss those rosy cheeks. Those sweet white bottoms in contrast to tanned little legs. So much changes in a years time with kids in the home. Next summer will be quite different than the one we've just finished. And maybe that's why I am reluctant to let go of each tender stage of their childhood. But I am still also aware of the sweet quiet moments waiting for us as winter closes in.

2011-10-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

KC and Alan are such a sweet couple. I am so happy we were able to get together to celebrate their 10 year anniversary! Congratulations you two:)

xo
Eden.

Fuji 400h

2011-10-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

Love,
Eden.

Fuji Film
Tri-X Kodak.
Bow Ties by: Cher Stuff.

2011-10-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Sheena and Jason

Sheena and Jason were wed in the same beautiful church his parents were wed in. There was such a romance to their entire day. It's always an honor to be asked to document a couples wedding day.
The two have been really busy with their little family and have recently opened a restaurant on 6th and 6th in Calgary! If you are here you really should go check it out!!! Melange Restaurant.
Best of luck in these new adventures and all my love,
Eden.
Film and digital

2011-10-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Merin.

...we are going to go out tonight to celebrate for you. Just us girls. I love you and miss you so much.
xoxo
your big sister.

2011-09-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

We stopped by Uncle Dean's on the way home from Waterton. Sadly Ysa fell asleep and slept right through the adventure. Our sweet little baby woke up just as we were getting ready to say good bye to the horses. But we were able to snap a couple quick polaroids before heading out...

Some moments just seem to smile.
(Horse back riding at Great Uncle Deans in Southern Alberta for Aubrie's 5th Bithday.)

Fuji Film
Polaroid FP 100C

Freshly Picked

2011-09-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

Susan,
I wanted to thank you again for those adorable moccasins! Saying we have loved them isn't enough. Ysa has worn those little things almost every day this summer. They went with everything!!!!! and everyone always LOVED them including little miss Ysa. Thank you again for your kindness. You really touched us with your generosity.

If I have some moms who might be reading this, these are the shoes for those babies!!! They are butter soft, and stay on those chubby little feet so nicely. I thought it would be fun to share these shoes as I figured any Mother and Grandma would love to spoils their little ones with them:) Honestly, take a minute and check them out, even the Kardashian baby has a pair!

Thanks again Susan.
Lots of love,
Eden and Ysa.

www.freshlypickedblog.com
Fuji Film

2011-09-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

Sheena and Jason's wedding was so much fun, I can't wait to share more soon!

Fuji Film

2011-09-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

xoxo
Eden.

Fuji Film
Black and White 5d

Amy and Charles | Waterton AB

2011-09-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

A beautiful, quiet day filled with love and excitement. I am so happy for you two.
xoxo
Eden.
Color- Fuji film
Black and white- 5d.

Fish and Chips on the Harbor...

2011-09-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

Holga & Fuji.

Bow Tied.

2011-09-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

My Mom made these beautiful Bow Ties for all the little boys at Mark and Tiffany's wedding. She used fabric from one of Daylans old mission ties and I thought they turned out so cute! Also now I don't have to try to hide that tie from Daylan at the back of the closet anymore;) He loved it but it was old, stained and tired. Now it has a new life. To see how to make it go to my Mom's blog. She is doing a little tutorial on them. Have fun!

Fuji pro 400H

A Family

2011-09-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mark is a very talented type of guy. Anything he tries his hand at he is not only good but outstanding. So- I was a little nervous to work with him on a more intimate note. Never mind that I love him inside and out I was still nervous. Marky, thank you for being so sweet and supportive. I had a blast shooting your beautiful little family (soon to be family of four! so excited for you both). Love you more than words!
xoxo
Your sister.

Fuji Pro 400H Film

2011-09-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

Mark, my sweet little brother. I doubt you have any idea how much I love you. I am having a hard time expressing my thoughts and putting them into words. I hope you can feel from these photos of how I see you. How I adore you and admire you...

Lots of love,
your big sister.

All color images Fuji Pro 400H

2011-09-03T08:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I will close my eyes and take a deep breath and try to catch a little bit of Merin. Wishful or hopeful that I might be able to somehow will my sister to be close to us. This summer was so beautiful and we were lucky to be able to keep busy and stay close to family, but inevitably there were heartbreaking moments. Times when the lack of Merin and Mike were too obvious, and still not right. As we celebrated my youngest brothers wedding and welcomed a new sister to the family I missed Merin and felt her near at the same time. As we walked around Worly, a small and enchanted Island, I wished so badly she and Mike were there with us. Sometimes I find myself looking into others lives and wishing for their lack of my hurt. But that is crazy. We all have our own pain and struggles. I think of what my mom wrote..."When we love we hurt." It's so true. I love and miss my sister everyday.

Fuji Pro 400H

2011-09-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

I find it hard to believe that it was a year ago that I photographed little Rex as a new born. And seeing him a year later reminds me of how quickly time goes by. It was so fun to see your family again Tasha!
xoxo
Eden.

Color - Fuji Film
B/W - Kodak Film and a little 5D

2011-08-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

Such strength in your beauty. -I hope to have a full post by Thursday.

Ilford HP5 400 B/W Film

2011-08-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

While we were in Vancouver staying with some close friends they invited us for a day at their cabin. We really didn't know what that meant until we got there. It was really a little bit of magic! A little Island shared with 5 other families. The kids were able to run and play with no worries from the parents. There was such a feeling on security and warmth there.I really can't express enough how much the Simpsons mean to us. They have shown so much love to our family but especially to my brothers in Vancouver. They really are like family.
Thank you again and again for having us Nancy and Bob.

Kodak Tri-X 400 B/W film.

Aubrie is 5.

2011-08-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

and I wanted to do something special for her. Its been a tough year for all of us and she has been such a sweet and constant little angel for me. Never unkind to her little sister. Never. That is something that continues to impress me about her. She is always so sensitive to Ysa's feelings and if she thinks I am having a hard day she will wrap her little arms around me and whisper the most lovely words. Words that are just for me and I hold them so close.

Her "dream" lately has been to ride a horse "one day". She would talk of riding a horse as if it were such a stretch. We called my Great Uncle and set things up for a little girls dream come true. We went riding in the prairies. It was absolutely stunning on my Great Grandma's property. A place that holds so many memories for my Mom and I. I was so thrilled I could do something special for my little five year old. (So many more pictures to share a little later on.)

Happy Birthday Aubrie!
Love,
Mom.

Fuji FP100C (instant film)
Polaroid Land camera.

Sandy toes,

2011-08-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

seems to take all the worries away. I'm wishing I had a little sand on my toes right now.

A new sister.

2011-08-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

I feel very blessed as I sit here thinking of our family. Tiffany has just joined the family and what a beautiful addition she is. She is so sweet, calm and loving. We are so blessed to have so much love within one family. My dear sister. Welcome to the family. I honestly feel you are such a blessing to my brother. Thank you for all you do. Mark, I love you sweetie! You are one lucky man.

P.s. I have so much to share with the wedding and trip to Vancouver however I am waiting for my film to be processed. So this picture of Tiffany is just to help my older brother Jonathon wait patiently until the other images come through.

All my love to my brothers. I feel as though I am a very loved and lucky sister.

Thank you for making me feel that way.

Road Trips

2011-08-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

I remember watching my parents pack the car before a long road trip and the anticipation grew as we waited and waited for the final bag. I also remember how we would get bored within the first hour of the trip and long for it to be over. We would mostly tease one another to pass the time. Five kids and my parents in a little caravan. Dad wouldn't turn on the AC (we still tease him about that) so we rolled down the windows and would snack on fruit roll-ups and granola bars:)

This picture above is of Deacon and Aubs as we loaded the car for our latest road trip to Vancouver. They were so excited. Ysa and I flew-thank you airmiles! (as I wasn't sure any of us were up to 11 hours of sad baby) and I was kind of sad to miss out on this car trip. BUT I will admit I was happy fly!

We had such a great time at the wedding and staying up late every night visiting with family and friends! I feel so blessed to know the people I do.

Lindsey and Jon Olsen

2011-07-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Lots of love,
Eden.

Cranmer Family

2011-07-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

This family is amazing! I loved the kids (honestly how could I not!) and Elizabeth and Kent are such an incredible team. It was truly such an honor to be invited to photograph them. I hope you enjoy your pictures Cranmer family.

Love,
Eden.

Shani and Miles

2011-07-19T10:41:00.000-07:00

Shani, I can't wait to meet these two sweet little boys. They will be so loved! Wishing you all the best.
xoxo
Eden.

soon...

2011-07-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

I am really looking forward to sharing some jobs. I just can't seem to find the time to get to the blog. Sorry! Please be patient with me:)

Holga & Fuji film.

One little girl.

2011-07-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Do you know how completely loved you are by so many? I don't know if there is one little smidgen of you that hasn't been kissed a hundred times! ...and your gummy little smile is so sweet. With two teeth just below the surface- I will be sad to lose that toothless smile:) My little girl is one. I really do treasure every moment with my sweet angels. Happy Birthday Ysa.
Love,
Mom.

2011-06-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

A few days late (sorry Day) but honestly you are our world! I love you sweetie. Thank you so much for all that you do. You are an amazing father. We all adore you. Happy Father's Day!

xoxo.

2011-06-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

A soft moment.

Little David Michael

2011-06-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

Jenn,

your little David is so sweet and little and everything is...baby perfect! I am so happy for you and Nathan.

xoxo

Eden.

2011-06-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

There is something in the air today. I am not sure what it is but I'm having a sad day. There is a lump in my throat that I just can't seem to swallow. Perhaps it has something to do with my good friend moving back to the states tomorrow. Or even just seeing what I am missing as I watch other sisters together. But I miss my sister and wish so desperately that someone could just take this hurt away. So I am trying to keep busy, and not dwell but my mind keeps looping back to Merin. Maybe I will just allow myself to have a sad kinda day. I'll bake, and eat, and snuggle up with my girls...and hopefully tomorrow it won't be so hard.

2011-06-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Trying different b/w films...

Simpson Family

2011-06-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

The kids were amazingly sweet and so fun to get to know at this shoot. I was greeted at the door by a very enthusiastic three year old in his underwear:) Such huge personalities!!! Such great kids. Amanda, you truly have a beautiful family. Thank you so much for having me in your home.

xoxo
Eden.

Summer is...

2011-05-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

so sweet with you.

35mm Fuji 400 pro Film

Dream

2011-05-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

...everyday.

Fuji ISO 800

Copala | Film

2011-05-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

As we drove into the small country side town of Copala the romance of Mexico grew. With a population of 300 and cobble stone streets from 1560 its hard not to fall in love! Everyone we met was so kind. I absolutely loved Copala.

Mexico | Holga

2011-05-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the sweetest moments come to us in our everyday. As I bath the kids, or wait in line at the grocery store. Those sweet candid moments we get with the ones we love are so precious. If I don't write them down at the end of the night in my journal they often drift away. Recently we took a family vacation to Mexico and as I go through the pictures from our trip I feel a great respect and love for photography. What a beautiful little thing it is to be able to hold a memory.

My sweet little girl,

2011-05-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

I adore you. Every little bit of you.

(Mexico with the kids- 35mm film)

2011-05-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

"Life is so crazy and unpredictable. Kinda nerve racking but exciting. The important thing is to be humble, to try to follow Heavenly Father's will, to use my agency wisely. Life only happens once and I need to remember to enjoy every minute of it! To be positive."
-Merin's Journal Entry.
June 9 2008

...you continue to amaze and inspire me. I miss you terribly.

Love you always,
Eden.

Thomas and Hannah's Home.

2011-05-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

This is My little brother's first home. Both Thomas and Hannah have done so much work on it and I LOVE it! I think its is such a warm and welcoming home. I don't have before pictures but I can tell you that it used to have an orange kitchen and bright blue and yellow walls! I offered to get some pictures of it to help them remember how beautiful their first home was.

Lindsey and Jon

2011-05-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

Working with friends is always such a joy. Lindsey and Jon, I am so happy for you and I look forward to the wedding day!
Lots of love,
Eden

Sophie

2011-04-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

...at a year. Happy birthday sweet little girl!
xox.
Eden.

Five Guys...

2011-04-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

Really, no matter where we go out to eat Daylan's usual is burgers and fries. So to celebrate my birthday Daylan took me out for lunch to the best spot he could think of...Five Guys Burger and Fries. It was really messy but so good! Thanks for the date Love. I am one lucky birthday girl.
xox.

iphone.

Little Parker.

2011-04-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

Suzy it was so fun to see you! Parker is such a sweet boy. Its so fun to see how much he has changed since your last visit (he is such a little man now)! I wanted you to know how much I cherish our friendship. And your laugh- it truthfully warms me right down to my soul every time I hear it:) It takes me back to all those sleep overs we had when we were little.

love you so much,
Eden.

Yashica 120mm

2011-04-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

Hannah, you are stunning. It was so fun to shoot you again. -I am just so sorry that most of the roll didn't turn out. But we will try to make the most out of the few that did. The term sister in law...it just doesn't sound right to me. I am so happy I can call you my sister.

Lots of love,
Eden.

More film

2011-03-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

...another roll has come and gone only to discover that another camera isn't working. I'm so disappointed. Disappointed to the point of a saggy heart. (maybe a "saggy heart" is a little much but honestly I don't think I can help it!) I am so looking forward to getting my hands on a working film camera again. But for now I will be putting my Canon 35mm to rest along with the Yashica.

(and if you follow my Mom's blog that is her new white wall in the background! Freshly painted, it looks so great Mom! Jane and Theo with Aubs at Grandy's.-shot with my dying canon on 35mm film)

Broken film

2011-03-26T17:26:00.000-07:00

It was such disappointment as I went through my film today. The film wasn't advancing as it should. I had a feeling as we shot with that old Yashica that something wasn't right. A total of four of twelve images were advanced properly. I suppose that's just how it goes sometimes.
But I had a really great time with you and your kids Hannah.

xo
Eden.

2011-03-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Its late. The kids are all tucked in. I've responded to a few e-mails and there is a quiet hum that seems to radiate right through me. I'm not sure what triggers this memory as my mind flashes back to the evening you came over with Ysa but I welcome it. She was maybe two weeks old and Mike was working late. We figured it was a perfect night to help you start your blog and catch up on some sister time. After dinner I held Ysa on the back porch as she slept and you so sweetly helped Daylan clean up and tuck Aubrie and Deacon into bed. What a generous sister you are...its been a hard week Mer. I have been needing another sisters night. Needing our tea and long talks. A girl movie. I need a good laugh! So why am I sitting here wiping my tears simply because I can't take your picture any more. Its ridiculous I know! I'm being ridiculous. Look at me! what a mess...

...tomorrow I am going to do some pictures for Hannah. I'm looking forward to it. I am even shooting some film again with an old Yashica- (I hope it still works) you would love it! It feels good to shoot film again. There is just something about film that is exciting to me. It even sounds different as I shoot...

Oh! Ysa is getting around now. Well, sort of. She is doing a half crawl. She gets so frustrated and has a bit of a fit when she can't get to me or her toy fast enough:) You would love it. I love it. Its just so cute. So fun to watch her grow. To see how excited Deacon and Aubrie get about every little new thing she masters, really what more could we ask for? They adore her.

I miss you. Mikey, take care of her. We miss you both so much.

xoxo.
Always

A stool.

2011-03-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

(at the demo site)

(all cleaned up!)

This is my "new" stool...Daylan found this little gem for me at a demo site last week. It was destined to go down with the house and he thought I might like it. I got the picture he had sent and begged him to go back and pick it up before it was too late. By this point in the day he had changed his mind and decided it was too UGLY to bring home! And yet with a little convincing he turned back and grabbed it for me (true love). He brought it home and took it straight into the garage. I think he was hoping I would forget about it...no such luck sweetie. Despite it being so cold I stood in the garage with my stool just smiling to myself. After giving it a good wipe down and a bee's wax polishing I am so happy with our new front entry stool.

Its a process...

2011-03-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

We have been busy working on our Laundry/mud room. Its been messy and a we have come across a few bumps but we are at the drywall stage (yay) as of this weekend and its so exciting! Daylan continues to insist on doing the work himself and I continue to be amazed at what he can do. I can't wait to share the finished rooms. It will be so nice to have more than one bathroom running again:) I am stuck on what we should do for the flooring. Any advice or ideas would be great!

(iphone pic by Deacon.)

Sweet Mornings.

2011-03-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

xoxo
Mom.

2011-03-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

Merin,
Today I woke up and it hurt to breath. A wave of deep ache for my little sister flooded me. 4:00am and I rush to our baby for an early morning bottle, moments after Ysa is tucked back in I slip back into bed when Aubrie is up with another bad dream. Rushing down the stairs, trying to get to her before she wakes the other kids I give her the security that comes from a moms embrace. But I lay there unable to sleep. I miss you. And the aches climbs to the back of my throat. I know it will stay there until Ysa wakes up and I can hold her. Oh- Mer. She is so much fun now! Especially in the mornings, she greets me with the biggest smiles and I swear she is saying "hi!" over and over. She is sitting and reaching and melting our hearts. We love her.

We watched your preformance of Coppelia again yesterday. The first time we watched you I was nervous about what my reaction would be to the DVD but it was beautiful. You are so beautiful and always have been. Aubrie, Ysa and I have watched it several time since. Ysa bounces along to the music, something deep within me tells me she really knows the music. Like a baby knows the sound of her mothers voice. It gives me a feeling of reverence. I wanted to tell you how beautifully she fits. I want to reassure you that she is doing well. I wish so deeply that things were different, that you were still here with us. But to my sweet sister I need you to know how grateful I am for everything you gave me as my sister. Our memories are so dear to my heart. I look forward to sharing so many memories of you and Mike with our little Ysa.

Love you.

For the record Ysa, your Mom is pregnant with you in these photos!

Absolutely adorable

2011-03-02T13:47:00.000-08:00

His little round face just makes me smile. Have fun with his first birthday Melissa, he is one sweet little man. It was such a pleasure to meet the pair of you.

xoxo
Eden.

2011-02-26T12:42:00.000-08:00

My heart is getting full of you...

cute cute sweater and bonnet made by my mom. thanks mom.

I like you a lot...

2011-02-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

I type a few words then tap tap tap the delete button. Thinking....then I type a few more words. Again taping the delete button. What can I say about you Daylan that really tells how amazing I think you are? I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you do for us. That I see how hard you work for us. Every day. Every night. You wake in the nights with Ysa and I to help with the feedings or rocking back to sleep. First thing in the morning you are off to work. Hours later at the tiniest click of the lock when you come home the kids race to see you. We love you. And we all look up to you. Dinner comes and goes. Clean up of dinner will sometimes happen soon or later but it happens. The kids are tucked into bed and you change into work cloths and start working on the house. You amaze me. This is our daily routine. Its busy. And tiring. You squeeze in a little LEGO time, and doll time. and we love you more with every little act of love. You are an amazing Dad. An amazing husband. I feel so lucky to call you mine. I know its not much in comparison to all you do but these pictures I did for you. I love the stage we are at right now. It's exhausting but truly great. We can look at these pictures of the kids and remember all the love that we have in our home. And I can't wait to see what the years will bring us.

xo
Eden.
(I worked on these pictures with a dear friend and talented photographer Kate Kunz. Thanks Kate!!!)

2011-02-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

Valentine.

Letting go

2011-02-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

Last week Deacon's Language Arts school work book came home. He is in grade two. His entry dated November 15 2010 really touched me. Deacon is a very sensitive boy (a quality that I LOVE in him) and so I was really surprised that he hasn't wanted to talk about the accident at all. Not one word. This journal entry is the first time he has shared his thoughts on the subject. It's not a lot but I think its beautiful. I have his permission to share it:

"Leting go."

"During summer vacation I had to let go of my Aunt and Uncle it was hard for everyone. About three years ago I had to let go of my old house it was espesholly hard for me because I had the biggest room in the house. I had to let go of my favorite stuffed animal I lost and can't seem to find it. I had to let go of two of my lego men I lost them."

This entry reminded me of all the things little ones have to let go of. And it's a lot. I had forgotten how hard it is to be little. To hold so many things dear to your heart. He is only 7. He's my little man. I hope that when he is ready to talk about the accident I will have the understanding that he needs. That he is waiting for.

her little white dress

2011-02-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

This little white dress was made by loving hands. And when this little girl steps into her gown she smiles at me. Her movements seem more delicate. That little voice subtly softens. And a whole new world seems to appear before us. My angel feels beautiful and that makes me smile. All thanks to the dress that Grandy made.
Thank you Grandy, it's everything to Aubrie. I don't know what little girl wouldn't love to play dress up with a gown as beautiful as this. It's already seen many hours of make believe. What a priceless gift.
xo
Eden and Aubrie.

Everything is going to be alright.

2011-01-27T09:26:00.000-08:00

7:30am. Aubs is tucked under my arm, her sweet little rosy cheeks are smushed flat against the mattress. It's a warm moment. So quiet and still. Then reality comes flying through the room as Daylan reminds me of a dentist appointment for the kids in 40 minutes...clear across town! We all rush like mad and soon are out the door. The drive is long and slow. As we near the office there are several emergency vehicles addressing an accident. Everything inside of me goes cold. I feel for the family involved. I don't know the out come of the accident but then memories come flooding back. Every little detail of Merin and Mikes accident is immediately at the forefront of my mind. The looks on peoples faces as they drove past us. My husbands pale face as he deals with the aftermath of the accident before the ambulance crew is able to get there. Everything. Every little detail. And it all plays like a movie in my mind. A horrible scene. And it hurts to breath.

I don't know why it is so therapeutic for me to write this down. But I feel an urgency to get these feeling out of me. Almost as though writing it will take it away from me. That by putting it out there I won't be carrying to the weight of what I feel alone. I feel so sad. Sad for my parents. For my brothers. For Ysa. For me. For Mikes family. I don't know if its right to feel sorry for ourselves or for me to feel sorry for the lot of us. It's not brave. Not strong. But I don't feel those things right now. I miss my sister. I feel helpless.

As the day goes on the thought continues to come to me. "Everything is going to be alright." And I feel it. I know it. I know where Merin and Mike are now. They are together. They are happy. And we will see them again. Knowing these things doesn't take away the hurt. At least not yet. It is still sad. But I can breath again. And carry on. I will keep busy with my three beautiful children. I will hold every warm moment close to my heart. And lean on my family and friends. My testimony of the gospel.

Everything is going to be alright.

A home tour. (Merin and Mike Melnyk.)

2011-01-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

This is the home of Merin and Mike. They worked so hard on their first house. Merin and her two girlfriends scraped the ceilings. Family got together to help with the painting and refinishing of the floors. Mom and Merin especially had so much fun planning every little detail of the decor. Even though we have had to finish the kitchen without her (it was completely gutted since last spring) it has been finished just as Merin had envisioned. I love this home. Its full of spirit, and warmth. I so hope we can find a lovely little family to fill it. Enjoy the tour!

(here is just one image from the "before", just to give you an idea of its transformation.)

so very kind.

2011-01-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the very kind comments. The thoughtfulness of each one. For the love, and support from friends and strangers. I do feel so loved, yet undeserving of them. We are so privileged to have Ysa in our home. She is such a joy and a comfort. Yes, we have lost many hours of sleep:) And worried over her when she is sick. I worry of the day when she wants her Momma Merin not me. But this is what we do for our children. We love her so very deeply. I suppose I feel selfish in accepting these kind words. Merin and Mike were so loved by all their family. We will all support her and love to watch her grow. Please know that your words touched me. Made me feel stronger. I know the loss of Mike and Merin affected many. I loved Merin so deeply, and feel so blessed to raise her daughter.

Much love,
Eden.

so sweet in pink

2011-01-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

The love, support and kindness that has been extended to my little family through these last few months is truly humbling. I honestly don't know if there are words that do my feelings justice. How do I express my gratitude? There has been a roller coaster of emotions. Times when I have felt so completely lonesome. But as I kneel at night, there is no denying how blessed we have been. The feelings of being left behind are gone and I feel so surrounded by support. I would like to thank you, for all the kind words that come to me through e-mails and little notes. Meals dropped off. Little treasures like this sweet little pink outfit made with love. These little things mean so much more than you know. From Merin, Ysa, myself and my little family I would like to thank you. I know its not much. And I will do all I can to pay it forward. But thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
Love,
Eden.

(Ysa, 6 months 10 days)

Merin Mom and Me

2011-01-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

Last year we took a trip to New York. It was really amazing to be in such an incredible place as NY. However, I never did anything with my pictures from that trip. And as I sift through them again I think I might understand a little more why. The buildings are neat but I want photos of faces. Faces I know and love. That is what makes a photo beautiful to me. I wish I had taken more photos with the girls and less of all those silly building. My sister and Mom are the ones who have inspired me all these years. And I'm sure they will continue to inspire me for many years to come. It was so fun to walk to the station every morning together before Merins dance class. To sleep in the same room taking turns on the ground. Oh! and remember walking back in the dark? How we got scared and lost? I can't help but smile. We all linked our arms and took turns with the nervous giggles. Such a great night. I really think my favorite part of that trip was all the little things we did before and after the big things...not sure if that makes sense. Love you merin and mom! Thanks for the trip and the precious memories!

2011-01-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

I miss you Mer. I just want to talk. I don't need to see you, or hear your voice but if you could just listen. I often feel that you can...Christmas Eve was so much harder than I thought it would be. We missed you and Mike. I can't even tell you how much it hurt to walk to your grave site that night. It felt so wrong. So wrong that your beautiful body should be resting below that very ground. We all missed you. But I felt so much comfort that you have Mike by your side. That you are together still. As we sang "Families can be together forever" I knew once again how true that is. That night as I stuffed Ysa's stocking I felt your smile. Is that possible? And can you believe how much Ysa is changing? She is trying to sit on her own. Everyday she gets better at it. I can actually see her trying to find her center! And this morning when I left the bedroom she cried for me. She loves me. I cant even put into words how much that little cry meant to me. We love her so much. Merin, she is such a sweet baby. I miss you. I Love you. I hope you hear me. And know how true these feeling are.
xo
your big sister.

my darling

2010-12-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

You are simply one of the sweetest things. You can always me make smile.
Merry Christmas my love.

Little...

2010-12-18T11:14:00.000-08:00

and so sweet. Esther, I am so happy for you and your beautiful little family.

Love
Eden.

love

2010-12-15T18:58:00.000-08:00

I never knew how much I could love.

(thank you for the family portrait Heidi!)

Little Dreams

2010-12-12T10:42:00.000-08:00

I think little dreams fine tune us. I think they encourage us to be better, be stronger. My sweet girl, I nearly turned myself inside out watching you shuffle on and off the stage last night. And you, my love- you were absolutely perfection to me. May your dreams encourage you to work hard, and be the best you can.
Love you always,
Mom.

(International School of Ballet's Nutcracker backstage.)

In a Moment.

2010-12-03T09:01:00.000-08:00

There is a little bit of Christmas sprinkled about our home and as I walked Ysa to sleep this morning I tried to breath it all in. Some decorations are old and loved and others are shiny and bright. A few minutes of humming and rocking and Ysa feels heavy in my arms. She must be asleep. On my way to her room I pass the kitchen window and feel a tug on my heart. The beautiful "Ysa" sticker is still on the window from Merin's baby shower. I haven't been able take it down yet. So I pause, and hold Ysa a little longer. A little closer to my heart. And I realize its possible to be happy and sad in the very some moment. My throat tightens as my heart swells. I remember the shower so clearly. The memory of the evening brings Merin close to me. As though I can hear her voice. I'm not sure if its just the memory of her or if she is close by, but I feel her support. still.

So happy to have my three lovely children as we celebrate Christmas this year. They all are excited in different ways. Ysa likes the glitter of the tree, Aubs loves the anticipation of Santa and gifts, and Deacon seems to be loving the spirit of Christmas. The cookies, and music, and of course the presents! This Christmas will have many happy and sad moments I'm sure, as its our first without Merin. BUT I am expecting more happiness than sad this season.

(For my own record I need to remember that the hard memories are starting to feel more distant less vivid in my mind. and the good/happy ones are growing stronger. Not always, but I don't want to dwell on the hard. I am learning to acknowledge those thoughts and feeling, to feel them and carry on. I still miss her terribly and I'm sure I always will, but knowing she is happy and watching over us brings me a lot of comfort.)

Snip.

2010-11-26T12:42:00.000-08:00

"Uhhh- I think it's stuck..." she swallows loudly and smiles so awkwardly I can't help but laugh. My little Aubrie loves to get me ready for imaginary weddings. Its wedding after wedding at our house. Its something we love to do as Ysa is sleeping. Its quiet and the aliases we assume as we play, its just fun. Really one of our favorite games, until yesterday. Yesterday I walked around all day with a comb wound up to the top of my head. hmmm. I probably should have paid more attention to her when she said she was going to curl my hair. Even my Daylan couldn't save me from the fate of the scissors! So- I had no choice but to snip.
Here is my little angel. At the time she was known as "Natasha". Clearly "Natasha" was not impressed with me after I broke the comb trying to get it out of my hair. lol. oh the drama:)

Two Jack

2010-11-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fall seemed to just slip through my fingers this year. Now just outside my window its white and bright and happy. I love that we get all four seasons here. I love how at the beginning of each season it feels like a fresh start. I know the winters can get long here but I really can't picture living anywhere else. Besides the beauty of Alberta I love being close to family.

baby love

2010-11-18T09:48:00.000-08:00

Already four and a half months. My sweet baby. How we love you.
xoxo.
Mom.

my AMAZING mom...

2010-11-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

hmmm...so-I inherited some of Merin's old pajama pants, only they didn't fit me right. And for the last two months (I know a little long) I have been stuffing Aubs into PJ's that don't fit her any more!!! Then it hit me. I could have my mom make some pajamas for Aubs out of Merin's old bottoms. So I took the old pants over to my mom and a few hours later I had THREE really cute bottoms for Aubrie. And the cherry on top was that they didn't cost anything but Grandys time and love.

Mom. Thank you so much for everything you do!

2010-11-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

I've just finished making a book of Merin for my Mom. I feel so heavy right now. As though everything inside of me is falling to my feet. Looking at all those pictures...I miss my sister. My beautiful little sister. I miss her literally dancing around me. I miss her laugh. Her touch. But I love that I have these pictures. I love that I loved taking her picture. I can't help but warm as I think of how we played as we shot. There would be music on...Merins music. I usually had Aubs or Deacon with me. She'd pose and I would ask her to smile just so, then she would totally NOT get what I was after and we would crack up. Laugh till there was tears! It was always so fun. Thinking back, I don't understand why she looked up to me the way she did. In a way that I don't feel deserving. She always loved me. And she told me this often. How am I so blessed? How it hurts to have been so loved. I remember the first time I saw Merin dance a major roll at the Ballet and I was surprised at the tears that came as I watched her perform. I was so proud of my little sister. SO PROUD. She truly was amazing with everything she did. I hope she knew how much I admired her.
These words are for me. They are comforting to say. To say to no one really. Just to say. To say that I miss my sister. That it hurts. That life really doesn't go on in the same way. But I still love. I still laugh and I am still loved. I know I am blessed.

so loved.

2010-11-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am shaking my head even now. How could I be so clumsy? Friday night after "Trunk or Treat" I tripped over Aubs. Sigh. Honestly!? I tripped over my little girl and broke my toe. Embarrassing? A little. Funny? Kinda. Now I am hobbling around the house with Ysa in my arms and Aubs as my constant shadow. Really how can I not laugh at this? Aubrie and Deacon have been so sweet. Tonight as we got ready for Grandma to come over so I could run to the Doctor Aubs offered to Vacuum. And she did. She Vacuumed the main level in her T-shirt and underwear! It was so sweet of her. Then she wiped down the table and chairs. My little four year old is already taking care of me. I feel so completely loved.

(A friend of mine had us over for pictures and dinner. She even invited me to play in her studio for a little bit. I had SO much fun!
Thanks Heidi)
xo.